Untamed Devotion: Falling Flat On Your Face

1 Corinthians 10:12
"Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence."

Often, when I need to make difficult decisions about life, I take a retreat. I go away at least for an afternoon, if not a day or two, and I just listen for God.

Most often, God speaks to me through metaphors. I am not one of those gifted with actual words which I hear from God. I have to listen with my eyes for what God is saying to me. Often, I instinctively know the answer to my difficult decision, but for whatever reason, am afraid to face up to it. Sometimes the fear is born out of the advice friends have given, because the metaphor which God gave to me spoke a different message than what my friends had to say. Fear, then, comes from the notion that God is asking me to go against what my friends have said. Other times, the fear is simply born out of the unknown, because the metaphor God has given requires me to travel off the map.

Here is one of the metaphors God gave to me one summer day while sitting on a fallen log, over a small river which runs through a small park in central Minnesota. I was facing a lot of confusion and indecision that day. I was questioning relationships and friendships. I was seeking God's guidance in what to do and say. That day, I knew the answer before I got to my place of retreat. But God, through a metaphor, spoke to me confirming this knowledge, goading me to action.

There is a squirrel with a twitchy-bushy tail that just ventured out onto a large tree which has fallen half way across the river. It continued forth upon shakier and shakier branches, finally entrusting its weight to the tiniest of twigs. These tiny twigs splayed out towards the tiny twigs of another fallen tree on the other side of the river. If the squirrel wants to cross, is will have to jump into the air, grasping for the twigs of the other tree. As its tail twitches, it eyes the other branches, looking for the place to jump. Its haunches are tensed. It is ready. One quick breath and there…it made it. For an instant, the only thing which upheld the squirrel was the breath of God.

Right now Lord, I’ve been sitting on the tiniest of twigs. They barely support me. And yet, I must cross. I know You are leading me on to something. I don’t know what, nor even where. But I know You are leading. And so I sit here trying to figure it all out, my own sense of balance, twitchy and bushy. And You are already on the other side.

"Jump." You command.

"Why?" I ask.

"Jump." Again, there You are, beckoning.

"Why?" I ask again, the consternation showing on my brow.

"Because I said so." You say.

"Some answer."

"But it’s enough." You reply.

"Do I have to?" I ask.

"If you want to be with Me." You say.

"But why can’t You just stay with me?" I plead.

"I will, but you need to move on…you need to go where I lead you."

I see Your eyes, solid, confident, filled with love and power. Your arms outstretched to me as if to say: "It’s okay. I’ll catch you. Now jump."

I take a deep breath, my muscles become taut and flex as I launch myself into the air. I wave my arms crazily as I realize that I can’t make it. And I realize then, that in You, I am being born upon the open space by Your breath. It strikes me then, that there was never really a gap. The gap was only in my mind.

I sense the openness before me.
And yet I know You’re always there.
The gap I see an illusion.
Your breath will bear me through the air.
The breath of God,
My breath of life.
The breath I breathe,
You give new life.
On the breath of God,
I take my stand.
You look to me,
With outstretched hands.
Oh breath of God,
You sing to me.
On You I stand,
In You I’m free.
Your outstretched hands, I see Your scars.
No heart-born wish upon the stars
Will carry me always, ever on,
As You carry me, oh breath of God.

What decisions do you face today? Have you sought out the voice of God regarding your decisions? Have you really taken time out to listen?

Next question: in whom are you trusting? Are you trusting solely in your own power to choose? Or are you trusting in God's power? If you only trust in your power, inevitably, there will come a time when you will fall flat on your face. And it will be painful, embarrassing, and pride-crushing.

But then again, maybe you need that. Maybe you need to have your pride crushed? I know that on many occasions, this is exactly what the doctor has ordered for me. A nice fall-on-my face to remind me of my place. A reminder that God is God, and I am not.

Paul, in his letter to the church in ancient Corinth, tells us to cultivate God-confidence. Trust in Jesus. Know that His very breath will bear you up when you trust in Him and leap from the paltry branch which strains under your weight.

As long as you trust only in yourself for your major decisions, you will occasionally fall flat on your face.

When you trust in God for your major decisions, you will always see His glory reflecting on your face.

Falling flat on your face, or having the very Glory of God reflecting upon your face? Hmmm...tough decision.